--- title: "Relational Gestalt Psychotherapy: 3 Things Clients Value Most" entity: "blog" canonical_url: "https://www.bodycotoronto.com/blog/relational-gestalt-psychotherapy-what-clients-value" markdown_url: "https://www.bodycotoronto.com/llms/blog/relational-gestalt-psychotherapy-what-clients-value" lastmod: "2026-10-16T09:17:56.000Z" --- What if therapy were less about fixing, changing, or defining who you should become, and more about a relationship where you could fully be yourself? I often remind clients that trauma can arise within relationships and that the right therapeutic relationship can help heal it. It has been 8 years since I have been practising from the Relational Gestalt Psychotherapy approach. At the heart of Gestalt therapy is the belief that we are always shaped by our relationships, our environments, our experiences, and this informs how we navigate through life. We are in the here and now with our clients, because often how they show up in their relationships is how they show up as clients. Focusing on the energy we create together can help to deconstruct the parts of us that do not serve us or the relationships we are in. I stand by the principles of unconditional acceptance, honesty, and humour in the therapeutic space. This means redirecting a client to not feel like they must be a people pleaser, a good client, a caretaker, or an avoidant in the therapy space. I strive to create expansiveness by encouraging clients to be their whole selves. Over the years, clients have shared feedback as to what makes therapy meaningful to them and why they made progress. Although each person's experience is unique, here are three things clients have appreciated. "This means redirecting a client to not feel like they must be a people pleaser, a good client, a caretaker, or an avoidant in the therapy space. I strive to create expansiveness by encouraging clients to be their whole selves." Paula Fernandez, Registered Social Worker and Gestalt Psychotherapist, Body Co Health & Wellness ## 1. "Someone believed in me." Sometimes the most powerful experience in therapy is surprisingly simple: someone believes in them. Not in a cheerleading, "You can do anything!" kind of way. Rather, it is having someone genuinely see a client's strengths, capacity, resilience, and their potential, even during the moments when they cannot see it for themselves. I do not believe my role is to convince a client that everything is okay. It is to help them discover what is true for them, especially the parts they carry shame or disconnection from. It is transformative to hold the belief in a client's capacity and remind them of their growth along the way until they can recognize it themselves. ## 2. "There was honesty and humour." Therapy does not always have to be serious. Therapy is an art, and humour helps create a space that is lively. In fact, some of the most meaningful moments can happen when we laugh together, acknowledge the absurdity of something, or gently name what is happening without trying to sugarcoat it. I bring who I am in the space with clients and what comes with it is honesty, humour, and authenticity. I am not interested in creating a relationship where I sit behind a professional mask, playing the part of a therapist. Sometimes I may gently call something out. Sometimes I might notice a contradiction or a familiar pattern. Sometimes I may say, "I see something familiar happening. Can we explore what happens when I name it?" There is a difference between confrontation and criticism. In a therapeutic relationship built on trust, feeling challenged by promoting honesty means there is care and acceptance. ## 3. "I felt your presence and unconditional acceptance." One of the most important things I can offer a client is being present. Truthfully, I do not always know what direction our session will take or have the perfect thing to say. Being truly present means more than active listening. It means being curious about the person sitting in front of me, how I feel with them and their emotions, body language, and the energy we create together. I do not ever want my clients to perform or to try to impress me. Sometimes clients need my leadership and other times we co-lead. They can be angry, confused, overwhelmed, stuck, contradictory, happy, negative, or uncertain. Unconditional acceptance means their worth does not depend on getting it right, allowing us to make room for difference. ## Finding Their Own Meaning As a therapist, I support clients in making sense of their lives while offering guidance along the way. I accompany them as they explore who they are, who they want to become, and which relationships support them. ## A Personalized Approach Relational Gestalt psychotherapy is not a formula or a one-size-fits-all recipe. It is shaped by each person's history, personality, relationships, body, culture, values, and current life circumstances. Therapy is intended to be collaborative. Some moments are deep and emotional, while others are practical, uncomfortable, or humorous. Throughout the process, we remain curious, present, and engaged. ## A Measure of Meaningful Progress I know the work has been meaningful when clients say they have learned to be their whole selves and are no longer preoccupied with who they think they should be. If you are ready for a room where you can stop performing and be yourself, [book a free 15-minute Alignment Call with Paula](https://bodyco.janeapp.com/#/discipline/21/treatment/335). ## Frequently Asked Questions About Relational Gestalt Psychotherapy ### What is Relational Gestalt Psychotherapy? Relational Gestalt psychotherapy is a form of therapy built on the idea that you are always being shaped by the people and places around you and by everything you have lived through. The work happens in the here and now. Instead of only talking about what happened last week, your therapist pays attention to what is happening between the two of you in the session, because the way you show up there is often the way you show up everywhere else. ### How is Relational Gestalt Therapy different from other talk therapy? Many people expect therapy to mean describing their relationships from a safe distance. In relational Gestalt therapy, the relationship with your therapist becomes part of the work. If a familiar pattern shows up in the room, like apologizing for taking up space or trying to make things easier for your therapist, Paula may gently name it so you can explore it together while it is happening. ### What if I'm worried about being a "good" client? That worry makes a lot of sense if you are the person who holds everything together for everyone else. Paula does not want you to perform or impress her. If you catch yourself people pleasing, caretaking, pulling away or trying to be the easy one in session, she will gently redirect you back to yourself. You are welcome to show up angry, overwhelmed, stuck or uncertain, and your worth does not depend on getting therapy right. ### Will I be challenged in therapy? Sometimes, and it comes from care. Paula brings honesty and humour into the room instead of sitting behind a professional mask, so she may notice a contradiction or a pattern and name it out loud. In a relationship built on trust, being challenged is a sign that someone sees you clearly. There is a difference between confrontation and criticism, and Paula's work lives on the side of care. ### Who is Paula Fernandez? [Paula Fernandez](/team/paula-fernandez) is a Registered Social Worker and certified Gestalt Psychotherapist at Body Co Health & Wellness in Toronto. She is registered with the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers, completed the five-year psychotherapy training program at the Gestalt Institute of Toronto, and has been practising from a relational Gestalt approach for eight years. Her sessions bring Gestalt psychotherapy together with somatic, body-based methods, and your needs guide the process. ### What can therapy with Paula help with? Paula supports adults living with anxiety, trauma, depression, low self-esteem, relationship challenges, chronic pain and major life transitions. If you are moving through a big life change like postpartum or perimenopause and feel like you are carrying it all on your own, that belongs in the room too. ### Are sessions with Paula virtual? Paula offers both 50-minute, in-person and virtual sessions, so you can do this work from wherever you feel most comfortable. ### How do I know if Paula is the right fit for me? You can [book a free 15-minute Alignment Call with Paula](https://bodyco.janeapp.com/#/discipline/21/treatment/335) before committing to therapy. It gives you space to ask your questions and get a feel for how she works before you decide anything.